.....of the new look? ^^^^^^

...when you enterthe cocktail lounge. I've had the ferret busy all day setting this up.

That took all day... happy now ?

.....for Melinda

This is another chance for you to dine at the Captain’s Table.

All you have to do is say why you think you should be invited to dine at the Captain’s Table.

This is your Captain speaking

Iceberg Ahead - Don’t worry it’s a pretty pink one !

Just perfect for adding to those cocktails!

"Truly, Madly, Deeply"

I've been wanting to watch this for ages - now's the time.

Now for an indulgent and totally relaxing body treatment beginning with a full body exfoliation. After which aromatherapy body creams and oils from are applied generously all over, leaving your skin silky soft and smooth, as you are cocooned in a relaxing wrap.

A face, neck and shoulder massage delivers the final stage of total relaxation.

This will take about 90 minutes.

Enjoy!

As for me - I'm going for this:

Think Cleopatra as your senses are enlightened by this ancient Egyptian ritual. To begin, a full body exfoliation, followed by warmed salve drizzled and massaged into the body with heated, herbal compresses, paying particular attention to the back. Then you are lowered into a relaxing float and after, moisturised with nourishing body butter. This extremely luxurious, deeply relaxing skin softener relieves muscular tension and is ideal for sleep rejuvenation.

Today we shall have:

Served with a glass of Champagne

SPECIAL ANNOUNCEMENT

Today is Ladies Day on board "Lollipop"

Get ready for some serious pampering!

Are you a mum? Have you ever had a mum? Things they say....

Go to sleep...you'll be tired in the morning
Eat your dinner... you'll be hungry later
Don't eat those biscuits...I've just bought them
.and best of all.....my dear ole mums favourite.....Stop crying or I'll give you something to cry for

Yes it's that time of the week again and I'm sat here at the Captain's table all alone!

  Got my costume

Yipee! Tonight we are going to have another great night. So get your fancy dress costumes on and come as your favourite Sound of Music character.

Meanwhile here'a a little taster - enjoy

Just for the girls!

A MAGIC MIRROR

ps Who was that nice young man hiding under your bed Milly?

..... gone tomorrow.

The onboard beautician has asked me to announce that, due to the sudden purchase of exotic swimwear, she has only two free appointments for body waxing.

Also now available in our on board boutique next to the Carnival Pool.

The following range of men's swim and sports wear is now available in our on board boutique next to the Carnival Pool.

Here in the Vale of Pewsey in Wildest Wilts, crop circles are an everyday occurence at this time of year. Some of the aliens that create these examples of cereal art live on boats along the Kennet and Avon canal.

Last year a bunch of circle makers were in a wheat field in the wee small hours doing their stuff. On the hills above were a group of tourists, watching and waiting for a close encounter.....Neither group was aware of the other.

It was Dave's first time out and he needed a smoke. So In total contradiction to the unwritten lore of circle makers he lit up a ciggie, his long hair shielding the tiny flame from the lighter.

Yup, you guessed it, he set his coiffure alight and ran, panic stricken from the field in the direction of a small stream. Apart from hysterical laughter, to spur his flight, the others in the crew let him get on with it.

Imagine the scene, the following evening in the Barge pub..A group of earnest tourist looking at photo's and video recordings of a strange ball of light moving mysteriously across a darkened field. Clear evidence for the existence of a metaphysical cause for the resulting crop circle.

As for the boaters, they stifled the rising hysteria and crept out, including the guy in the corner with the trendy singe job.

You just couldn't make it up..

That Mexican food was scrummy.

I'll just look out my attire for tomorrow.

WHAAA!!!  where's my Itsy Bitsy Teeny Weeny Yellow Polka Dot Bikini????? 

See if that King Kev is strutting about wearing it tomorrow, i'm going to choke him
Trina xxxxxx

Mexican Nosh is now being served

Mexican Menu

Ultimate Nachos
Fresh nachos, served with your choice of beef or chicken (or both), beans, and topped with lettuce, tomatoes, onions, sour cream, and our own freshly made guacamole.

Taco Salad
A fried tortilla bowl filled with your choice of chicken or beef, with cheese, beans, lettuce, tomatoes, sour cream, and guacamole.

Fajitas
A steak or chicken fajita, served with rice, beans, and a guacamole salad containing lettuce, sour cream, cheese, guacamole.

Tostada
A flat, crispy tortilla with beans, chicken, or beef, cheese, and guacamole salad.

Chile Relleno
A poblano pepper stuffed with potato and cheese, wrapped in a special egg batter, and sprinkled with cheese.

Enchilada
A soft corn tortilla filed with your choice of beef, chicken, cheese, or potato and covered with salsa and cheese.

Taquito
A corn tortilla filled with chicken or beef, rolled up tightly, and fried until crispy.

Tamales
Chicken surrounded by a layer of cornmeal and topped with cheese and salsa.

Quesadilla
A folded, grilled flour tortilla filled with just cheese, chicken and cheese, or beef and cheese. Beans can also be included.

Chimichanga
A crispy, flaky, deep fried burrito with vegetable, chicken, or beef filling and topped with cheese dip, lettuce, guacamole, sour cream, and tomato.

Burritos
A flour tortilla filled with your choice of vegetables, potato, bean, beef, or chicken and topped with onion sauce.

Pico de Gallo
A fresh, hot Mexican relish consisting of diced tomatoes, jalapenos, onions, tomatoes, cilantro, lime juice, and seasoning.

Desserts

Caramel Flan
A smooth vanilla mexican custard drizzled with caramel and crowned with whipped cream and a sprinkle of cinnamon.

Sopapilla
A flat, fried flour tortilla with honey, chocolate sauce, whipped cream, and cinnamon.

Fried Ice Cream
Vanilla ice cream coated in a sweet crunchy coating, then fried, and topped with honey, cinnamon, chocolate sauce, and whipped cream.

Platanos Fritos
Fried, ripe plantains, sprinkled with cinnamon and sugar.

Some things you may hear in a bar, with handy translations:

“You get this one, next round is on me.”
“We won’t be around long enough for another round.”

“I’ll get this one, next one’s on you.”
“Happy Hour’s nearly over. Pints are £1.50 now, but by the time we get another round in they’ll be £4.”

“Haven’t seen you around for a long time.”
“You stuck up little bitch! Too good for your old friends, are you?”

“Where’s that friend of yours?”
“I have no interest in talking to you other than as a way of getting your attractive friend in a compromising position.”

“Ever tried a body shot?” (male to female)
“I’m even willing to drink tequila if it means I get to lick you.”

“Ever tried a body shot?” (female to male)
“If this is how wild I am in the bar, imagine what I’ll do to you on the ride home!”

“I don’t feel well, let’s go home.” (female)
“You’re paying more attention to your friends than you are to me.”

“I don’t feel well, let’s go home.” (male)
“I’m horny.”

“Excuse me.” (male to male)
“Get the feck outa the way!”

“Excuse me.” (male to female)
“I’m about to grope you.”

“Excuse me.” (female to male)
“Don’t even think about groping me, just get the feck outa the way!”

“Excuse me” (female to female)
“Move yo’ fat ass! Who do you think you are, anyway? You’re not all that, missy, and don’t even think you are. Coming in here dressing like a ho… Get your eyes offa my man, or I’ll slap you like the li’l slut you are!”

“He/she looks really familiar…”
“Did I sleep with him/her?”

“Can I just get a glass of water?” (female)
“I’m annoying, but just cute enough to get away with this.”

“Can I just get a glass of water?” (male)
“It’s 6am and I just stopped drinking half an hour ago. Hell, I probably dropped half my paycheque in here last night, it’s the least you can do for me.”

For CJ

No good? - go on then - borrow mine!

Footnote: the above items can be purchased on board "Lollipop" at "Rubychoo's Emporium"

Ahoy all you decadent cruiseship goers.
Just go steady with the tequilas whilst in Mexico ..you could end up breathing fire.....

Cheers!

PS..and if you can't behave then make sure you've got a fire extinguiser handy

Yes that's right - we are now anchored in the Gulf of Mexico where we'll be spending a few days and nights. NotBob has stocked up with Tequilla so why not join us on deck to enjoy the beautiful sunrise?

What a great way to start the day

Sit back and enjoy!

Sorry I couldn't find the Marigolds for Adam - will this do instead?

Watch out for great big waves!

Today I went to visit the ship's doctor and he told me that my hearing was bad. He kept on shouting:

"No Captain - I said you had Acute Angina"

I heard him the first time

I can't think what on earth he thought I said!

I think he's been watching too much TV.

What a fantastic Chinese banquet we had last night. Thanks to everyone for making it another great night on board "Lollipop".

Now how about an armchair keep fit session?

Or a swim, jacuzzi and sauna perhaps?

ENJOY!