Now I know why this ship is going nowhere fast. 
The Ship's Doctor put the chief engineer on a diet of Viagra and prune juice, 
but he had to give it up. 
He never knew if he was coming or going! 
Ship's doctor said that a great way to lose weight is to eat while you are naked and standing in front of a mirror. Restaurants will almost always throw you out before you can eat too much.
Or have you tried the garlic diet? 
You don't lose that much but you do look slimmer from a distance. 
