Yer 'aving a larf!

« More Doom and Gloom? | ok here's my contribution »

Yer 'aving a larf!

by la_spice @ 2009-04-28 – 19:10:26

I found this earlier today:

Does your circle of friends need a laugh? Maybe you need a reason to smile? Laughter is the best medicine! Host a Joke Night party right in your own living room. You'll make them laugh until their sides split.

Tonight we're going to have a "Joke Night Party" - so get posting and share your favourite joke

Here's a ~~naughtical~~ nautical one to get you started:

So this pirate walks into a bar with a steering wheel in his pants. Confused, the bartender asks “Hey mate, why do you have a steering wheel in your pants?”

“I don’t know” the pirate says, “but it’s driving me nuts!”

Go on - what are you waiting for?
Options:
Tags:
- fun
- party
- jokes

22 Comments to Yer 'aving a larf!

Hide subcomments

- SeasideMan ^Pro
- 2009-04-28 @ 19:34:24
A horse walks into a bar. The barman asks "Why the long face"?

I'll get me coat...
- - la_spice
  - 2009-04-28 @ 21:08:43
  - Reply to comment
  - Permalink
- wendlane
- http://www.moondustandangels.co.uk
- 2009-04-28 @ 19:35:52
- Reply to comment
- Permalink
- murphymole ^Pro
- 2009-04-28 @ 20:01:10
- Reply to comment
- Permalink
- nultygoestopartick
- 2009-04-28 @ 20:16:08
What has Rupert the Bear and Jack the ripper have in common they both have the same middle name.
- - la_spice
  - 2009-04-28 @ 21:08:20
  - Reply to comment
  - Permalink
- pompeycaulkhead
- 2009-04-28 @ 21:16:06
A white horse walks into a pub and the says "blimey. We have got a whisky named after you".
"What?" replies the horse "A whisky called Dave?"

Taxi!!!!!
- - la_spice
  - 2009-04-28 @ 21:18:09
  Man overboard!...............
  - - pompeycaulkhead
    - 2009-04-28 @ 21:23:10
    just let me drowm for posting that one........
    - - la_spice
      - 2009-04-28 @ 22:16:48
      Who said that?
      - pompeycaulkhead
        
        2009-04-29 @ 18:01:30
        
        glug........
        
        Reply to comment
        
        Permalink
- mojacar
- 2009-04-28 @ 22:04:55
Oh I wish I could remember jokes - just can't do it!
- - la_spice
  - 2009-04-28 @ 22:16:06
  Never mind - just have a laugh anyway!
  - Reply to comment
  - Permalink
- isadora101
- 2009-04-28 @ 22:18:20
Errr...."Green Olive"
- - la_spice
  - 2009-04-28 @ 22:19:55
  - Reply to comment
  - Permalink
- ravingmad
- 2009-04-28 @ 22:46:09
There were two cows in a field and one turned to the other one and said "Moo"........and the other one said "Awwww...I was gonna say that!"
- - la_spice
  - 2009-04-29 @ 06:34:36
  You're raving mad!!!!
  - - ravingmad
    - 2009-04-30 @ 12:08:00
    - Reply to comment
    - Permalink
- boredrich
- 2009-04-29 @ 01:19:19
two snowmen in a field one turns to the other and says I can smell carrots errrrm or whats black white and red all over? a sunburnt penguin
- - la_spice
  - 2009-04-29 @ 06:35:30
  Yay!
  - Reply to comment
  - Permalink
- antlady69 ^Pro
- http://antmusic-forever.blog.co.uk
- 2009-04-29 @ 06:22:33
* What's the disease that paralyzes blondes below the waist? Marriage.

* A patient says: "Doctor, last night I made a Freudian slip, I was having dinner with my mother-in-law and wanted to say: 'Could you please pass the butter.' But instead I said: 'You silly cow, you have completely ruined my life'."

* A man is having problems with his Johnson which certainly had seen better times. He consults a doctor who, after a couple of tests, says, "Sorry, but you've overdone it the last 30 years. Your dick is burned out; you only have 30 erections left in your penis."
The man walks home (deeply depressed); his wife is already expecting him at the front door and asks him what the doctor said concerning his problem. He tells her what the doc told him. She says, "Oh no, only 30 times! We shouldn't waste that. We should make a list!"
He replies, "Yes, I already made a list on the way home. Sorry, your name isn't on it."

* A young woman buys a mirror at an antique shop, and hangs it on her bathroom door. One evening, while getting undressed, she playfully says "Mirror, mirror, on my door, make my bustline forty four".
Instantly, there is a brilliant flash of light, and her breasts grow to enormous proportions. Excitedly, she runs to tell her husband what happened, and in minutes they both return.
This time the husband crosses his fingers and says "Mirror mirror on the door, make my penis touch the floor!".
Again, there's a bright flash ... and then his legs fall off!

* A physicist, biologist and a chemist were going to the ocean for the first time.
The physicist saw the ocean and was fascinated by the waves. He said he wanted to do some research on the fluid dynamics of the waves and walked into the ocean. Obviously he was drowned and never returned.
The biologist said he wanted to do research on the flora and fauna inside the ocean and walked inside the ocean. He too, never returned.
The chemist waited for a long time and afterwards, wrote the observation, "The physicist and the biologist are soluble in ocean water".

* What kind of motor vehicles are in the Bible? Honda ... because the apostles were all in one accord.

* A hole has appeared in the ladies' changing rooms at the sports club. Police are looking into it.

* A man is driving up a steep, narrow mountain road. A woman is driving down the same road. As they pass each other, the woman leans out of the window and yells "PIG!"
The man immediately leans out of his window and replies, "BITCH!"
They each continue on their way, and as the man rounds the next corner, he crashes into a pig in the middle of the road and dies.
If only men would listen.
- - la_spice
  - 2009-04-29 @ 06:33:39
  An excellent assortment - thank you
  - Reply to comment
  - Permalink